You Say Potato... I say Spud...

It's amazing how people that both speak the same language can be so misunderstood...

Take my BFF's husband...
PLEASE!
(just kidding)

As I've mentioned on numerous occasions, my BFF is from England...
She is beautiful and speaks in an accent that makes all Yankee men look at her and smile...
It actually is annoying, truth be told.
Not the beautiful part...

The accent part...
It's like she's even cuter because she says regular words in fancy ways,
like "Gair-ege" instead of Garage
"Swimming Costume" instead of Bathing Suit
or "Plaster" instead of Bandaid...
she doesn't like things... she fancies them...

The list goes on and on...

Her man has adopted the "when in Rome" philosophy...
He says things like "Get yourself a beer out of the garage fridge"
or
"You look cool in that bathing suit"
(well, he never has actually complimented me on my choice of swimmimg attire...which is usually a one piece skirty type, fit for 65 year olds)

But I think that his usage of Americanized English, he learned at the school...
of the hard knock variety!

I know this about him, because he tells two accounts of his early days in the states that never fail to make me cry...
with laughter, that is...
(and sometimes pee myself just a little)

Lesson #1
taught him that though our countries share the same language, our verbiage can be quite different...
How would you react if your new boss from far across the ocean came to your desk and asked you to please get him a rubber and bring it to his office ASAP?

Yes... he actually did that... No kidding....
Poor naive Brit!
How could he have known that while he was thinking "pink pearl", she was thinking "trojan"!
The shock on her face alerted him to his faux pas...

Lesson #2
taught him that Americans call cigarettes, "cigarettes" or "cancer sticks"... NEVER, ever, "fags"...
How did he learn this very important fact?

It was when he was at a social gathering...
you know the kind I mean with lots of food and drink
and then more drink...

THAT'S when former smokers get the itch for a "cancer stick"

THAT'S when British men-folk ask the other lads if anyone "Fancies having a fag outside"

Which is totally normal when you live in the UK...
But when you are in America, and you ask a bunch of guys if they "Fancy" anything they look at you funny...
When you ask them if they fancy having a fag outside, you are most likely begging to be dragged out back and beaten to within an inch of your life...

Should you survive lesson #2, you most likely have no need for lesson #3...

Thank heavens he's a quick learner!