RUDE AWAKENING
/rud/ /uh-wey-kuh-ning/
I had one of these today...
I was at the store with OD (only daughter), and we spotted the cutest top and
Bermuda shorts in the ladies department...
"Go try it on!" is what she said to me with great enthusiasm...
Which incidentally, she doesn't show us too often these days, especially
when it has anything to do with any one other than
a) herself
or
b) one of her close, personal friends...
Which, by the way, she has several hundred of...
I saw them all on her myspace...
and I do not happen to fall into that category...
But incidentally, Tom, some geek who invented myspace, does...
I got all caught up in her excitement, as she was trying to find me the perfect top...
She held one up and said "Will this one be too big?"
I answered immediately "Yes! Look how HUUUUGE it is!!"
I took it in the dressing room just so that I could prove my point and we'd most likely share a good old laugh when I showed her how humongous it was on me...
I was chuckling to myself as I was undressing...
This was going to be a hoot!
I slipped on the Bermudas...
They fit... sort of...
And they would be alright as long as I didn't drop anything while wearing them...
They were seriously low cut...
You know the kind, that if you bend over, your butt crack peeks out the top of...
NOT PRETTY on a 20 year old and even less so on a 40 something... TRULY!
So the bermudas were out but the top still had potential...
I slipped it over my head and...
HOUSTON... We have a problem!
The stinkin' thing was kind of small on me!
How could that be?!
It was like a magic trick prop or something...
I mean, off, it looked ginormous...
Yet, on...
Not so much...
I have solved the great mystery of why I do not enjoy clothes shopping...
It's all about smoke and mirrors...
I exited the changing room with clothes in hand and met my OD's gaze...
"I hate shopping" was all I said...
"When they start making clothes that fit people right, we'll come back!"
What was your latest rude awakening?
5 comments:
My latest rude awakening was the other day when someone saw me in a store and thought I was my mother!
my rude awakening was when a gf and I left the hubbies at home and went to dinner...the waiter called me "sir"...as if I were the "man" of the couple...to make it worse, my "partner" (used to be my best friend before this comment) laughed and said "maybe it is your unibrow"...
Prich -
I hope you tipped accordingly!
;)
Jackie
I was asking my teenaged patient why she was always late for our sessions. She replied, "That is just how I roll." I said, "Well, that is NOT how I roll. Get here on time. To which she replied, "Uhmm, Mrs. H., No offense, but, you are too old to roll."
HalfBreedWoman,
My kids tell me that I'm "too old" for stuff all of the time...
I tell them that they are "too young" to appreciate just how cool I am...
;)
Jackie
PS - Hey anonymous... that would cause me to have a breakdown! I hope you give them filthy looks and tell them that you have no idea who they are talking about!
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