Right Around the Corner...

I wanted to mention a little something to those of you who haven't known me for an entire year yet...

I LOVE my birthday!

I'll bet right around now, you're thinking...
"OK... so she loves her birthday!... and she's telling me this... WHY?!"

I'm sharing this intimate detail about myself with all of you because I just don't want anyone to feel blindsided when September 1st rolls around and my Birthday month commences complete with the Deep End banner all tricked out for the occasion!

I have forever loved my birthday...
I think my family always held out hope assumed that once I was a grown up, my enthusiasm would settle down a bit...
They were wrong...

It used to be about the presents when I was a kid...
Although I do still LOVE presents, it's now more about the celebrating...
About being Queen for the Day Month...
About gathering friends together and going dancing (which is something else that I LOVE to do)

Over the last 8 or 9 years, I have had BFF Les make a fuss over my birthday...
It's because she's such a nice person her birthday is the day before mine...
And as fate would have it, we embrace our birthdays with the same level of exuberance!
How cool is that?!


Okay....she IS actually a really nice person too...

So enjoy the last days of August and get plenty of rest...
Because September,
a.k.a.

• 'Birthday Month'
• 'Jackie & Leslie's September Fest' (BIGGER than Oktoberfest around these parts... that is, if WE have anything to say about it!!)
• 'Move-Over-Labor-Day-Because-the-New-September-Holiday-Is-Here'

is just around the corner!

Let's remember people, that we all need to pace ourselves and keep our eyes on the prize so that we can fully enjoy the month without fizzling out too early...

Don't Put a Cork in it!!!

I'm cutting edge!!

I can't believe I just said that... but it's totally true...

Time magazine revealed the news to me today, when I read a very interesting piece...
that's what people that actually READ Time magazine, not just skimming through and looking at the pictures within, call the articles scattered throughout the pages... Pieces...
Now that I am cutting edge, I should probably consider coming up with a newer word to describe these stories, instead of using 'Pieces'...

Hmmmmm....

I got nothing....

I'll just stick to pieces for now...

So you are most likely on the very edge of your seat waiting to hear why exactly I am so ahead of the pack...

I won't make you wait a second longer.

TWO words...


BOXED WINE


Are you jumping up and down, clapping?!
Okay, settle down for a second while I fully explain...

The Italian Agriculture Ministry has made a recent announcement which revealed that they will be allowing certain wines produced under it's label to be sold in boxes...
Yes, you heard correctly...
Italian Vino in a box!

I've been drinking wine from a box for years now...
Yes, you heard right...
YEARS...

Which means that I am cutting edge...
I'm ahead of the Italian Agriculture Ministry...
I'm NOT tacky because I can occasionally open my wine without the use of a corkscrew...

So to all of you haters out there who have looked at the occasional wine box consumer with disdain...
I'm sad for you...
Because if you READ Time Magazine like I do, you would realize the error of your ways...
and the next time you were in the grocery store, you might be tempted to buy a "Box-O-Wine"...
(and you might actually like it)

If it's good enough for my Pisan's... it's good enough for me!






And though I love box wine...
it's not actually with a burning passion...
you know, the way I love my new set of glasses...,

So please do not buy me a shirt like this one for my birthday
(which happens to be coming up VERY soon!)

Keep to the Code...

I spent some quality time with GGT & GT#2, on Friday...
and by quality time I mean semi-controlled chaos...

You know how sometimes you just get a feeling that something is going to happen?
A kind of esp, an inkling, or a vibe...
Well my 6th sense alarm was really ringing as GT#2 arrived.

Remember him?
Sweet little man who has his own special powers which begin with a smile, and usually end with you giving him something.
Like a cookie...
or a Mustang GT...

As he arrived, I had a feeling in my bones that he was going to be 'enthusiastic' that evening...
Was it a heavenly hunch?
Did I, in fact, have an extraordinary gift of foresight that needed to be used for making the world a better place?

I decided that it was not a 6th sense experience after all, but rather the regular old use of one of the original 5 God gave me...

Sight...

Because as his Mom was dropping him off to me with his usual bag of tricks, including extra clothes and PJ's...
She held in her hand, a bag, which was filled with a white substance which has caused many a mother to lose sleep at night...

A compound so powerful that one puff can cause a small child to run around in circles for no apparent reason...

You guessed it...

Showing up with this 'treat' for the boys broke the following codes:

• the well known 'Mother's Code' that ALL moms should just know

• the Pirate's Code... too much of this kind of treat which incidentally includes 0% vitamin C, and HELLO SCURVY!

• the Knight's Code... adding these to your diet could cause your suit of armor to get too snug and how can you be chivalrous if your suit is too tight?!

• Morse Code... Let's just say: . - - - . . - . . . - / . . . . - - . - - / - . - - - or Just / say /no

The bag was opened and I could tell by the look in his eyes, that he was already hopped up on the stuff.

I said I would put them up for later...

and by later, I meant never...

We all got through the night and the following depicts my living room at 11 pm...
Can you tell which boy was kept off 'the stuff' and which one had a 'monkey on his back' (or at the very least, high levels of pure sugar coursing through his system)

What have we learned here today?

JUST SAY NO!
and for heaven's sake!!! Keep to the code (at least one of them!)

And Now, Playing the Part of...

I have this one weird thing.

To be perfectly honest, I actually have several weird things, the least of which is a rogue hair that sprouts in a place which I am certain it is not meant to grow...

Back to my 'thing'...

Here's the thing.

Oh dear...

I seem to be on one of those things where you are suddenly aware of a word that you are overusing and the thing is problem is, that the more you think about the thing use of the word, the worse the thing it gets...

Anywhooooo...

Let me start over...

Whether I am reading a book, watching a movie/tv show/play, I tend to designate who "I am" in the thi.. book/movie/tv show/play.

Way back when the earth was new, and I was seven...
I decided that my 'Brady Role" was that of Marcia.
Actually I was also Laurie in the Partridge Family...
and Mary Ann on Gilligans Island...

I'm not a self absorbed designator..
I often assign characters to my friends and family as well...

Each one of my closest friends secretly had a role in the Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood (and they didn't even know it!)

Recently, I've personally made an important scientific discovery!

Not really... but I've always wanted to say that...
I have actually found that as with other 'things' that are part of who I am,
this 'thing' seems in all likelihood to be genetic...

I made this hypothesis based on a recent trip to the movies with my sister, Tricky Vicki (or T.V.)...
We went to see Mamma Mia! with a couple of my friends , which incidentally is FAB! If you haven't seen it yet... Go!!

So here's where my keen sense of observation kicked in leading to the revelation that this is not just a 'weird thing' but indeed a 'genetic thing'...

Halfway through the movie, there is a scene where Donna (played by Meryl Streep) is joined on stage by her BFF's Tanya (Christine Baranski) and Rosie (Julie Walters) to sing...
as I am watching this big scene, T.V. leans over and taps my arm and says "You're in the middle" and she points to the left "That's me" and she points to the right "That's Linda"
(Linda is our other sister)

I cracked up because, not only did I realize at that very moment, that I am not quite as weird as I thought I was, because obviously this 'thing' runs in our family...
but even more hilarious is that her designations were exactly the same as mine!!

So now I don't feel quite so strange about my designation habit...

But NOW...

about that hair.....

And the winner is....

Thanks for your comments as well as e-mail submissions in 'naming the thought bubble'!

My favorite one was left via anonymous comment and so I've placed in it's proper place, inside the thought bubble next to Little Man's sweet little head!

I chose it because it is true...

When he gives you this look, it's like making eye contact with the lady with all the snakes on her head in 'Clash of the Titans'...

except instead of turning to stone...
you melt into a big puddle and give him anything he wants...

Quarters...

Candy...

The keys to your car...

(just checking to see if you were paying attention!)

Have I mentioned how cute he is?

I mean really!
That face is soooo pinchable!

204 Months... and counting...

Son # 4 had a birthday today!

He's now 17...
in people years...

(which is 204 months in young perky mom talk... because they can't let go of their babies!)

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic...

I've kept humming the 'Sunrise, Sunset' tune from Fiddler on the Roof over and over in my head all day....
and now so will you...

For that you can thank me...

You're welcome!

Time does have its way of whizzing by...
even faster than Old #4 can on his new longboard!

I've made of list of reasons it's great to be 204 months old (a.k.a. 17!)

1. Hellooooo!!
R-Rated movie admittance without a parent or guardian!

2. 16 is like, SO last year!

3. Shaving is no longer optional

And the FINAL reason that 17 is awesome...

4. Chicks dig 'older guys'

Name the Thought Bubble...

Here is one of my little men...
a.k.a. Grand-tadpole #2 (GTP#2)
We met him (along with his Dad) for lunch when my sister came for a visit...

My sister snapped this shot after we had all finished eaten and were about to leave the restaurant...

I'd love to know what he was thinking about at the time...

I think it might have been candy, which the mere thought of, has been known to cause kids to spontaneously smile for no apparent reason...

Or maybe it was puppies?

Maybe even chasing lizards...

I'm not sure but MAN! He's cute!

He may have been basking in the glow of what a
terrific Grammy he has...
(HEY! You never know... It could have happened!)

Okay, now YOU tell me what you think his thought bubble should say...
I'll re-edit with my favorite from your comments!

Unsolicited Advice From the Deep End

If you EVER buy your 15 year old daughter one of your children, a new queen sized bed...
and you have to buy all new bedding because you don't have any other q.s.b.'s in the house...
and your husband orders suggests that you "Just go buy the stuff without her!"
Do yourself a HUMONGOUS favor...
Listen to his demands advice...

How do I know this?
Let me give you the quick rundown...

• New bed arrives
• Sister is visiting from NC
• She is on the same wavelength as husband
• I am a rebel.... I want to do things MY way (which incidentally in THIS case was a mistake)
• I say "It's HER (daughters) room, SHE should be there to see what she likes"

Here is where it gets ugly...

• Sister says "okay, great!"
• We go to first store and suggest 16 comforter sets... daughter looks and makes face similar to this:

I told you before, I get this one A LOT lately!!

• By store #5... yes, you heard right.... store #5, we've heard all kinds of negative reactions, including "I HATE polka dots with a burning passion!" and "Eeew! Stripes are sooooo ugly!" and let's not forget the texture critiques including the "Too" family - too bumpy, too scratchy, too slippery(?) ...don't ask... because I have NO idea!

• Sensing my breaking point, my sister becomes the voice of reason... "Just buy a set of sheets and deal with the comforter ANOTHER day" followed by the thought in her head, I'm sure, 'Another day after I'm gone!')

• Sheet's grabbed
• Home too late to cook - Pizza ordered
• Catch sister glancing at me with "Poor you" eyes
• TOTALLY embarrassed and want to strangle daughter

I couldn't even complain to husband because then I would have had to have listened to a 35 minute lecture on why once again I should obey listen to him!!

I'm safe though sharing my story with you, because he never reads my blog on his own!!

The end of the story was much happier!

• Sister and I go shopping ALONE... for OURSELVES!
• Happen to find comforter set that will work
• Buy comforter set
• Daughter loves it
  
  - I know because this is the look she gave me when I handed it to her:

What have we learned here:

1. There IS such a thing as being too accommodating to your kiddos...
2. 15 year olds can be pains in the butts...
3. Occasionally, my husband is right
4. $3000. can do wonders for your smile *see pic above where daughter just got her braces off!!

Flash Dance Cards

I get the distinct impression that my Husband thinks blogs are stupid...

He tries to be supportive, but I find myself disappointed with his reaction every time...
It usually goes something like, "Is that it?" or "oh"...

I don't think I'm being paranoid either.

Possibly, I've been using the wrong approach all along...
Maybe if I used some type of visual aid to ... well.... "aid" him to know when the appropriate time to chime in with positive feedback in the form of encouraging words and /or applause, it would be extremely helpful...

If only I could think of something that would really get his attention...
You know....
Other than my stimulating words...

I think I've just had a brainstorm!!!!

Not to be confused with a braincloud which is far less productive and far more common than the full blown 'storm' version...

I think that if after I share my blog-thoughts from now on...
Instead of having to say "That's it!", which is how I queue him to respond with obligatory oooo's and ahhhhs...
I will use a visual aid to facilitate my plan!!

If this idea works, I could start up a business
(business idea #496 to be exact... but who's counting)
where I create customized flashcards with images tailored to each husbands particular sensory triggers

Their primary purpose would be for the blogger to use on the blog-ee...
Here's how they would work -

• Blogger reads blog aloud to blog-ee...
• Blog-ee half listens and eyes occasionally glaze over...
• Blogger whips out flashcards...
• Blog-ee snaps to attention and responds appropriately!

Voila!

My prototype cards are customized to include a couple of my husbands "visual triggers"
I'll show them to you...
In NO particular order....


The first one looks like this -

Here is the other one that will work just as well -

Am I alone here?

What pictures would be on your flashcards?