A good friend of ours has a t-shirt that has a picture of a squirrel on the front with a large pile of nuts behind it and he is holding a stick. Underneath, the statement ‘Protect Your Nuts’ is printed in large letters.
I laugh when I see him wearing it, which is usually when our families go camping together…
Every guy that sees it, laughs but then gives him the slight ‘knowing’ nod…
It’s a brotherhood-of-men kind of thing that, they swear, we ladies just don’t “get”
Oh, we “get” it all right…
We have a sisterhood our own…
The sisterhood of PMS, cramps, periods, pregnancies, swollen ankles and of childbirth, which, I’m sorry, is waaay more of a big deal than the old snip-snip that so many men drag their feet over doing!
My brave husband was one of the few men that didn’t need begging to prompt him to go in for the BIG “V”…
Oh, he cares plenty about his nuts (and his bolt too!) but he’s valiant…. and didn’t want me to have to endure yet another ‘thing’ (he’s the BEST!)
It’s funny how men can go to war,
Play Hockey, Football, or any number of contact sports…
Kill spiders and carry out a plethora of fearless acts…
Yet any mention of tampering in ANY WAY with the family jewels, and they are reduced to the emotional age of seven or eight.
On that note, I MUST mention my fascination with the verbiage used to describe certain things…
One can only assume that jewels are referred to in a figurative way…
Because I don’t think anyone would argue that point that the ‘jewels’ that they so lovingly refer to, are nowhere nearly as beautiful as, let’s say, emeralds or sapphires…
I’ve heard many a grown man reduced to speaking like a 3rd grader when the word vasectomy is brought up…
“There is nooo wayyy anyone is messin’ with the boys!!” (While pointing at his crotch with a pained expression on his face)
My brother used to say “Ooo! I got kicked where it counts!’
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve been living with boys for my entire life and NEVER ONCE did I lay in bed and hear an unfamiliar voice from the other room reciting one…two…. three…
I know what you are thinking….
That I’m a juvenile delinquent….
I must take umbrage with that statement! I haven’t been a juvenile in; oh lets see… 30 years or so!
But I truly don’t get it!
They are a body part, like your foot or your ear or that dingley-dangley thing that hangs down in the back of your throat when you stick out your tongue and say “AHHHHH!”
Face the facts guys:
1) They aren’t really “nuts”
2) Nor are they actually “jewels”
3) They are incapable of counting or any other type of speech
4) Though they are a boy-part… they aren’t actually “boys”
So ladies!
If one day, you happen to have this discussion with your man, and you've mutually decided that your nest is full enough, you might want to throw out this little piece of information…
The average cost of raising a child is in the neighborhood of $275,000!
That will hit him where it REALLY counts….
His bank account!
If that doesn’t get him to consider having a heart to heart with his “boys”…
I don’t know what will!
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