How Dry I Am....

One of my BFF's is a tad bit dramatic... and she is always coming up with some reason to be concerned about her health...
This often times makes me laugh...
I am really not trying to be cruel... but sometimes I simply cannot help myself!

Her worries have ranged anywhere from early onset Alzheimer's (H-e-l-l-o!!! We ALL forget things M!!)
to
Headaches that she is convinced must be indicative of a brain tumor...

Here's an excerpt from our latest health discussion that took place a couple of days ago:

She - "My right eye is dry all the time lately"

Me - "Have you tried lubricating drops? You can buy them in the contact lens department at CVS"

She - "It's the start of something"

Me - "What?"

She - "You know.... menopause!"

Me - "Menopause???!!! What's that have to do with your eye?!"

She - "It's starting with my eye drying up... next it will be my skin.... then my "bits" (which is totally the way she refers to her "lady parts")

Me - "So you're telling me that this dry eye thing will end in your nether-regions?!" (which is what I like to call my "bits")

She - "That's EXACTLY what I'm telling you!"


I chuckled to myself about this for the rest of the day...

I mean, her reasoning is soooo silly!!!!

But now she's put that thought in my head...
and come to think of it....

MY right eye has been feeling kind of dry lately...

One Degree...

One degree...

It seems such a tiny thing, but in my house, trust me… it’s humongous!

“I’m hot!” I say

“It’s just you!” He says

This dialog has been going on in our home for a couple of years now. We actually spar over the one-degree difference that we each want the A/C set on.

I must also add, that I have been telling my husband for years that there is something wrong with that thermostat, because the difference between 78 and 79 degrees is huge.

I’m wondering if a power surge or storm has messed up the temperature measuring thingy inside of it and it just can’t do its job properly anymore.

I'll tell you something else…. It really gets me steamed when he says that anything is ‘just me’… I mean, what does that actually mean?

I don’t know why I find it exceptionally irritating when he talks like that. But I know that I’m not alone here.

Lots of my girlfriends have mentioned that over the past couple of years that their families purposely go out of their way to annoy them. We swap this kind of intel over a drink during our ‘meetings’, which is our code name for ‘happy hour’.

I’m seeing a pattern here. It’s so obvious that I can’t believe that the news hasn’t done an expose’ on the whole thing! I’m SURE that there is something in our environment that is making our men and children turn on us.

The most I can figure is that it couldn’t be the water supply because I drink water, and so do my friends and none of us have been affected.

Maybe it’s some kind of weird exotic viral infection that affects only our men and kids.
I surmise that we must have a natural immunity to it.

Then I get worried because I’m pretty sure that most of our ‘top scientists’ are men (don’t they usually say ‘I’ll get a man on that right away!’ in the movies?)

That means that no one will be working on a cure because the women research scientists probably won’t get the “CURE CRAZY VIRUS ASAP!” memo because some guy will destroy all of the orders before any woman will even SEE it!!!

Okay, so perhaps I am being a tad overdramatic here, but you see my dilemma, as well as my friends too.

At a recent ‘meeting’ one friend made a monumental announcement “It’s official… I went to the doctor and I am definitely in menopause!”

That news, if you ask me, is really depressing. I mean, what are we going to be discussing at future meetings? Prune juice?!

“How sad for you”, I say

I’m sure that I am AGES away from that! ‘Poor old thing!’ I’m thinking. I’m guessing that when my time comes I won’t get all those crazy menopausal symptoms that I’ve read about in Ladies Home Journal.
Not me… EVER, I tell myself.

I have bigger problems to worry about anyways.

I mean, after all, we still have to get to the bottom of this virus thing.

It’s so annoying!

And for Pete’s sake!

Will someone turn the stinking air conditioning on!!!