If Life Gives You Lemons....

Someone asked me this question the other day…

‘If someone bought you a book titled Cook Yourself Thin for your birthday, what would you do?’

My reply, you ask?

It went something like this….

I would probably give them a small paper cut with each page and then pour lemon juice over the paper cuts for good measure!

Okay, so you now know two more things about me..

#1 – I have serious issues!

#2 – I have wonderful off-the-cuff ideas!

The question, it turns out, was asked because this person was actually given this ‘gift’ for her birthday (without wishing for it, I might add!) She was hurt and highly offended, and I think, mentioned it to see if she was being overly sensitive... I believe that my response to said question, reassured her that she was not!

It’s interesting to me how people walk around trying to encourage others to ‘fix’ themselves. It goes back to the old ‘holes’ philosophy…. We’ve all got ‘em.

And guess what?

Most of us are keenly aware of what we need to work on.

Maybe your issue is physical, like you need to lose weight…. or gain weight (difficult to imagine having THAT problem, but some people do)

Maybe your issues are even harder to deal with, like you are mean or painfully shy or you have really low self-esteem…

I for one, am more of the Swiss-cheese variety… I have lots of holes!

Thought for the day –

Encouragement isn’t a weapon, so if you hurt someone with it, you probably aren’t using it properly!

Holes...

Is it just me or does anyone else find the infatuation people have with celebrities a bit over the top? Okay, right about now, my closest friends are thinking, 'Are you KIDDING me?!' because I do have an “interest” in pop culture that includes all the 'hollyweirdos' as my husband would say.

I’m interested, but not infatuated….. there’s a difference….right?

Take Tom Selleck for instance. Attractive? Undoubtedly.
Probability of having a delicious scent that makes standing in a long line at the DMV in back of him strangely enjoyable? High.

Women are naturally drawn towards a guy like that….when their life seems tough they think to themselves “If only I had Tom, HE wouldn’t ask why he has no clean socks and what exactly I did all day! HE wouldn’t call me out for spending $20.00 on really great deals from Target!”

For all the wrong reasons we hold famous folks in such high esteem, considering the fact that the majority of us don’t technically know them.
For those of you who think you do, there are most likely some things that you might find surprising. For instance, he is not actually a private investigator, as many of you might have believed.
He’s a regular guy
(who does probably smell REALLY good….I know, I don’t KNOW him, I’m just guessing) who happens to have a job that puts him out there for all to see.

Food for thought, have you ever pondered that Tom (or fill in the blank to include Johnny Depp, Harrison Ford, Brad etc..) may actually have some extremely annoying habits…. Maybe he’s the kind of guy who leaves his mustache whiskers in the sink when he’s done trimming. (he probably has loads of them from the looks of that mustache)

He could even be one of those men who forget to put the toilet seat down intermittently - which is actually worse than a habitual leaver-upper because at least with those you can train yourself to always remember to put it down….

Or even worse, he may be the kind that enjoys correcting your grammar…. Especially in front of others. That last one is definitely a deal breaker for me.

Rinsing whiskers down the drain I can do.

I can even put up with the occasional “wet seat” at 3 am as unpleasant as it is to experience (especially at 3 am) and it might even cause me to get a bit cranky.

But correct my grammar and my claws come out. Who cares if I occasionally say “prescription” instead of “subscription”? I’m intelligent - even if I did once pronounce quesadilla, “case-a dealia”. So sue me because my only experiences south of the border were on I-95 when Pedro beckoned me with his signs like "eef you follow pedro's signz, ze treep seem MOCH shorter!"

A good friend of mine has an expression that she always uses which sums it up beautifully “We all have holes” Don’t get the wrong idea about her. She’s not talking about body orifices. (you went there first….get your mind out of that gutter!) The kinds of holes that we all have are the sort that makes the world go round.

“We’ve all got something” she’ll say to me.
She’s so right.
I have ‘em,
my kids have ‘em ….
my husband Tony even has a few.

But want to know a secret?
Our holes feel comfortable.
Like a pair of jeans that are broken in just right.
They feel like home.

So Tom, I’m sorry, but if you do happen to be in the line with me at the DMV, I probably won’t see you quite the same way anymore.
I won’t try to act like I “know” know you…
I’ll just stand quietly and breathe deep!