Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Outwit...Outplay...Outlast...Out of the Question!


My BF Les sent this to me today...

Truth be told, it couldn't have arrived on a better day for me...

Ummm... can you say teenagers?...

Sure you can...

I wanted to share the wealth with you...

you know...

the ones who understand me...

and who will also understand and appreciate this idea...




THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
3 kids
each for six weeks.

Each kid will play
two sports

and either take music
or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids
;
keep his assigned house clean
,
correct all homework
,
and complete science projects ,
cook
, do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money


In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.


Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives ,
and send cards out
on time--no emailing
.

Each man must also
take each child to a doctor's appointment ,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment

He must make
one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child
to the Urgent Care.

He must also
make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house
,
planting flowers outside

and keeping it presentable
at all times.

The men will only
have access to television
when the kids are asleep

and all chores are done.

The men must
shave their legs ,
wear makeup daily,
adorn himself with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes ,
keep fingernails polished
and eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
slow down from other duties.


They must attend
weekly school meetings
,
church
, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon
at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to
read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them
, dress them,
brush their teeth
and
comb their hair by 7:00 am.


A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island
based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.


If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years
eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as you

think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can

handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....
I'm going to bed.


Can I get an 'Amen'?!!

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Going Up?



Occasionally someone will send me one of these kinds of things in my email...

Okay... if I'm being COMPLETELY honest.... I get this kind of crap, junk, spam humorous stuff all of the time, and once in a while, something will arrive that tickles my funny bone or makes me laugh (and snort a little)

This was one of the few of them that didn't involve flatulence, sex, or a story involving a rabbi, a priest and a prostitute conversing on the 18th fairway of a country club golf course....

Here they are:

(and I wish I had the nerve to try them... #6 is my personal favorite)

1. Explain your ideas of world domination to your fellow riders

2. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

3. Walk on with a cooler that is labeled "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.

4. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

5. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

6. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."

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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Maddie....




I didn't know her...

or her Mom & Dad...

yet she has touched me...

Count your blessings folks...
and please keep this hurting family in your prayers...

Be sure to read the beautiful thoughts on Maddie written by her Mom HERE


(please be patient if link doesn't load quickly...
the server must be getting slammed...
if you don't get through the first time, please try again later
)

Watch this touching video tribute that was posted on remembermaddie.com


The Tribute to Our Madeline from Mike and Heather on Vimeo.



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PS -
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