I read a disturbing news item this morning...
The article reported that more than 50 people in India have gone blind by looking directly into the sun for the virgin mary...
First of all,
what the heck would she be doing on the sun?
EVERYONE knows that the sun is an extremely hot place and that it is virtually uninhabitable!
AND... Even if, by some miracle she did live there... there is another problem with looking for her...
The sun is really far away... 94.5 million miles to be precise...
I can't even see my neighbors at the end of the block in their yard from my yard, which incidentally isn't even close to 1 mile away...
ALSO... what would have happened, if they did find her sitting right on the sun??
Would they have had t-shirts made up that said 'I STARED INTO THE SUN AND SPOTTED MARY AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS CRUMMY T-SHIRT AND FINALLY, I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH STEVIE WONDER!!'
After the first few seconds of gazing at the sun and searching for her, wouldn't you just call it a day and assume that she isn't there?
I would...
I mean, at what point do you avert your eyes from the blinding light that is searing your retinas causing irreparable damage?
I, for one, like to learn from others mistakes...
After, oh, let's say the first dozen lunatics people went through similar experiences which included a fruitless search for the impossible which ended on a really BAD note...
Complete and utter blindness...
wouldn't you say to yourself, "Now THAT wasn't a very good idea!"
What do you suppose that #49 was thinking??
"Those other 48 idiots were doing it wrong!!"
or maybe
"I'm feeling lucky! After this.... I'll head on over to Vegas!!"
Didn't they ever listen to their mother telling them not to follow the crowd?
Please people!!!
Exercise some common sense!
Anyhow, haven't they ever been to little Italy?
You'll spot her easily in most neighborhood flower gardens...
